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Re: This is nothing. Don't look at it. It's just nothing...
Personally, I would throw this away and start over. A prologue really isn't necessary for this; rather than coming right and saying "hey I have synesthesia," let it come out ...
Jan 24, 2008 -
Re: Aurelix (WIP)
First things first; there really isn't any purpose to the description of Aurelix. Describing characters by having them study their reflections is kind of cheesy, and it's a bad way ...
Jan 10, 2008 -
Re: Greyscale
The first sentence is great, drawing the reader in and whatnot, but the second sentence fails. I'm not entirely sure what you meant say there, but simply replacing the "and" ...
Jan 8, 2008 -
Re: A Lesson in Semantics
There were a number of times in this story that I had no idea what was happening. Right off the bat, the labs and Visitor Area left me wondering just ...
Jan 7, 2008 -
Re: The Murder of Crose [Part One]
I don't really get the whole part with the body washing up on the shore. The hat floats by, and then the body, but he...doesn't realize what it is. If ...
Jan 6, 2008 -
Re: Through the Mirror /P
I really like the way you wrote this, but it's a little too vague, especially toward the end. There are also a few parts that detract from the overall feel ...
Jan 6, 2008 -
Re: The Blade of Eternity
The first sentence seems to be written backwards to me, not to mention unnecessary. If you're gonna keep it, I'd rephrase it, or at least throw a comma after "trees" ...
Jan 6, 2008
